An Attractive Trait Indeed!

February 3, 2026 

Hello!  How is each and every one? Yesterday the Church celebrated the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple of Jerusalem, 40 days after Christmas.  Imagine how the relatives of Jesus, the Son of God Himself, observe the law like every citizen.  What an example of humility and respect for the law of the land for each one of us!  Without seeking privileges which they rightfully have. You know every day that I contemplate the fourth mystery of the Holy Rosary, I ask for docility, humility, loyalty, simplicity, sincerity, charity, joy and gratitude towards the precepts Jesus entrusted to us.  He gave us precepts to observe for our own good and happiness not for His.  Remember He gave up His life to redeem us that we may win back our divine sonship and happiness with God in Heaven after life. 

Virtues are good habits with which you and I we can intentionally please God our Father in everything we do and say during the day.  What truly matters is how you and I are in the eyes of God than what we are in the eyes of anybody among us.  Doing God’s will at all times out of love for and gratitude to Him is the best challenge and reputation one can set as a goal for herself.  It is a natural act of friendliness because it sets a good example to persons around us and elevates the level of culture and civilization.  God who sees in secret will do what He always wills.

Following now is the continuation of superhabits related to Justice and this one is the superhabit of friendliness, which you and I demonstrate when dealing with persons (From  SUPERHABITS, The Universal System for a Successful Life by Andrew V. Abela, PH.D., Dean, Busch School of Business, The Catholic University of America, 2024)

Superhabits that deal with people and things, respectively

Honesty, Gratitude, and Correction are considered strictly necessary because they are called for in every case. The next two superhabits, Friendliness and Generosity, are habits for dealing with people and things, respectively. While both are superhabits, with the associated benefits of superhabits, neither is considered strictly necessary, in sense that Justice doesn’t require you to be friendly or generous to every single person you encounter.

Hail

 FRIENDLINESS

The superhabit for dealing with people is Friendliness. It is the habit of being friendly to those with whom you have interactions. See how it is “not strictly necessary”: it would be impossible to try to be equally friendly to absolutely everyone whose path we cross.

As I’ve mentioned, I grew up on the island of Malta. It is a very small island. When I was growing up, it felt like everyone knew everyone. Years ago, my mother was walking one morning down the main street of the capital city, Valletta, with her friend Monica, who was visiting from England. Monica noticed that, as they walked along, every couple of minutes my mother would recognize someone, wave at them, and say “Bye!” This bothered Monica, and at a certain point she said to my mother, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but why do you say ‘Bye’ each time we pass one of your friends? It seems rude, as if you didn’t want to talk to them.” 

“I never thought of that,” my mother replied.

A couple of minutes later, she saw another of her friends.

“Hello!” she said, cheerfully.

“Hello!” this friend replied, somewhat surprised. The three of them stopped and had a pleasant conversation, lasting maybe five or seven minutes, and then they all continued walking.

“I see now why you say ‘Bye,’ ” Monica said. “If we had to stop to talk to your friends each time we see one, it would take us the rest of the day to travel three blocks!”

For those of us who take public transportation, anonymity is a more common experience; we travel every day with a mass of strangers. Friendliness does not require that we walk through the entire subway car and introduce ourselves to every co-commuter. But if we start to notice the same person traveling in the same car every day, it would be a friendly thing to do to smile in recognition. If such encounters are reciprocated, it would be friendly to engage in conversation. Indeed, studies suggest that talking to strangers makes us happier.

Friendliness has a wide range of psychological benefits. Research in social psychology suggests that individuals who are friendly and kind tend to be happier, have more life satisfaction, and lower psychological distress. Friendliness is considered an important predictor of stronger relationships; it produces a greater number of social connections; and it leads to less relationship conflict.

John Newton was not a good friend in his younger days. When he was rescued from captivity in Africa, it turned out that the ship’s captain who saved him was a friend of his father’s. For that reason, the captain tried to befriend him. Newton responded by being disrespectful and mocking, even writing a song making fun of the captain, and teaching it to the entire crew.

Newton made dramatic progress in Friendliness in the years after he left the slave trade. As an Anglican minister, he spent a large amount of time visiting the families in his parish in Olney, Buckinghamshire, far more than the typical vicar spent. He and his wife were notable for their hospitality, hosting numerous visitors of ten for extended periods of time. One very long-staying visitor was the poet William Cowper, with whom Newton developed a lifelong friendship. This friendship endured through Cowper’s serious struggles with depression, and indeed Cowper’s survival through these struggles has been attributed to Newton’s attention. He spent many hours each day and often late at night with Cowper.

Allow me now to share with you the following excerpt. 

5 Characteristics of Friendship from Pope Francis (02/22/2021)

C. S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves, said that friendship “is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”

Listed in bold below are five characteristics of friendship taken from Pope Francis' writings, with a brief reflection on each one:

1. Friendship is a generous, self-giving love, which leads us to seek the true good of our friend (cf. Christus vivit, no. 151).

A friend accompanies, encourages, shares with and helps the other person to grow, since one’s capacity for self-giving increases. Since it is a question of discovering and loving the good of the other person, friendship also means suffering with our friends and for our friends (Fernando Ocáriz, Pastoral letter, 1 November 2019, no. 8).

2. Patience and time are needed to forge a good friendship between two people (cf. Message, 15 September 2015).

At times, the pace of life today can lead us to forget the importance of a good friend: we have to know how to “waste time” with our friends. Each friend is an adventure of getting to know one another, with its high and low points, its joys and sorrows. But like any adventure, it is investing in something worthwhile. Each person is unique, as is each relationship of friendship (Fernando Ocáriz, Pastoral letter, 1 November 2019, no.8).

3. Even though friends may be quite different from one another, they always share things in common that bring them together (cf. Christus vivit, no. 151).

Friendship is like a good movie. It broadens our view of the world when we take the risk of looking at it through the eyes of another person. Our friends help us to understand ways of viewing life that are different from our own, that enrich our inner world, and, when the friendship is deep, that enable us to experience the world in a different way (Fernando Ocáriz, Pastoral letter, 1 November 2019, no. 8).

4. Friendship is not a fleeting or passing relationship, but rather a stable, firm and faithful bond that matures over time (cf. Christus vivit, no. 151).

This faithfulness is attained when we are willing to love others just as they are: not in spite of their weaknesses and defects, but rather because of them, loving the uniqueness of each one’s personality. To do so, we need to ask God to give us a heart to the measure of His; in first place to fill my heart more with Himself, and then to help us love all men and women, without ever gossiping about them, knowing how to understand and pardon the defects of others, since I know how much God puts up with from me (Saint Josemaria, Notes from a family gathering, October 1972).

5. Friendship is so important that Jesus shows us He is our friend. He shows us He is our greatest Friend, who loves us and accompanies us just as we are (cf. Christus vivit, no. 153).

Realizing that we have a true friendship with Jesus fills us with confidence, because He is faithful (Fernando Ocáriz, Pastoral letter, 1 November 2019, no. 3). This also fills us with joy, a joy we want to share with others. A Christian’s friendship desires the greatest happiness—a relationship with Jesus—for those close to him or her. Let us pray, as Saint Josemaria did, “Give us, Jesus, hearts to the measure of Yours!” (Fernando Ocáriz, Pastoral letter, 1 November 2019, no. 23).

As always you and I can consider the above traits of a friend in our quiet moments with Jesus to discover how in our personal circumstances we can cultivate them and exercise them in our dealings with friends and acquaintances.  Let us maintain a person centered and Christ centered friendship.  Just as Jesus did, you and I will share everything we know about God with each and every person we meet and get to know better.  We accompany each other to Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us together again.”

Affectionately,                    

Guadalupinky