Being Mindful of our Physical Desires
November 4, 2025
Hello! How is each
and every one? How did you spend Halloween, trick or treat, prayers, offerings
and visits to departed relatives in memorial parks, cemeteries, errands. Personally I had a welcome opportunity on the
last day of October to go and visit, pray to and pray for my departed relatives
and then I took advantage to go and visit Our Lady of the Holy Rosary, La Naval
in Sto Domingo. On the way back home I stopped by a mall to get some things. There
were so many vehicles on the road and so many people in the mall. There was a Halloween celebration for the
children, they wore costumes and ran or walked around the mall.
Today is a special day for me and I would like to take
advantage to ask for prayers. Although I
know you and I always pray for each other.
Let’s now continue with
the next excerpt this time on the topic of dealing with our physical desires (From SUPERHABITS, The Universal System for a Successful Life by Andrew V. Abela,
PH.D., Dean, Busch School of Business, The Catholic University of America,
2024)
Dealing
with our physical desires
The
final set of superhabits of Self-Discipline are those for dealing with our
physical desires. There are five of
these as well.
Our physical desires include desires for food and drink, sex, and possessions. These are typically our strongest desires, because of their role in survival: if we don’t eat, we die; if we don’t reproduce, the human race dies out; if we don’t have possessions like a home to live in or some form of transportation, life can be very difficult.
The superhabits of Abstemiousness and Sobriety are the habits of eating and drinking reasonable amounts. “Reasonable” means exactly that: feasting at appropriate times, fasting at others and the rest of the time, consuming enough so that you’ll get the energy you need and the enjoyment you want from your meals and libations, without causing yourself social or health problems. While all superhabits lead to great health, these two are the ones that most directly make you healthier.
ABSTEMIOUSNESS
Research
indicates that individuals with the superhabit of Abstemiousness exhibit less
frequent overeating, snacking, and eating unhealthy foods and consequently tend
to have a lower risk of becoming overweight, obese, and having chronic
digestive disease, and, not surprisingly, are less likely to develop clinical
eating disorders.
Increasing
awareness of the present moment through mindfulness seems to lead people to
make healthier eating decisions. So,
Abstemiousness can be enhanced by practices like making a daily food log,
eating while sitting (instead of standing, or on the run), eating without
distractions, and even taking more time to chew your food. The popular app Noom can be a useful aid to
Abstemiousness and healthy eating.
As
a first step in cultivating the habit of Abstemiousness, consider the Japanese
practice of Hara hachi bu. As the Cleveland Clinic explains,
Hara hachi bu
is a Japanese term meaning “Eat until you’re 80% full… When you look at your
plate, decide how much might make you feel full, and then estimate what 80% of
that amount would look like. Perhaps
it’s two-thirds of the food on your plate.
Aim to feel satisfied and not hungry anymore, rather than full….
If you frequently find yourself mindlessly eating
portions that are too big, start by just leaving one bite behind on your
plate!... then, once you have really got
the hang of it, try leaving two bites.”
That,
of course, is the way to grow in any superhabit. Start with a small, manageable step, repeat
it until it becomes part of you, and then take the next step.
I am sorry to interrupt here. I just don’t agree with the idea of leaving a
spoonful or two on your plate in order to grow in the superhabit of
abstemiousness. Restraint can be
practiced while serving ourselves the amount of food we can finish and besides
if we may want to eat more we can always get a second serving when needed. Leaving food on our plate is not a good practice. There are many people who have nothing to eat
and we would be contributing to their situation whenever we leave food on our
plate.
SOBRIETY
Research
on Sobriety indicates that it is associated with physical health benefits such
as increased energy, weight management, and mental clarity, as well as
psychological benefits including emotional well-being, improved mood, and
stability. It is also associated with decreased
tension, depression, and self-consciousness.
Interestingly,
studies show that consuming alcohol in moderate amounts reduces stress,
increases happiness, and increases overall emotional expression, and has also
been found to improve cardiovascular health through the reduction of stress-related
neurological activity. (At the risk of
stating the obvious, consuming small amounts of alcohol over the span of a few
days is linked to better health outcomes than consuming copious amounts during
a short period.)
Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to adverse short-term effects including injuries, risky behavior, and alcohol poisoning. Extreme amounts of alcohol use can cause chronic illnesses, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, memory problems, and mental health problems. Drinking habits can be improved by tracking consumption, adjusting drinking patterns, setting goals, and relying on peer support.
Some people will consume alcohol because of peer pressure. Carly Fiorina, the former CEO of HP whom we met in chapter 3, on Diligence, developed a useful strategy for handling this early in her career. Her favorite drink is gin and tonic. When she didn’t want anymore alcohol, she would order a gin and tonic – with no gin. It looked to everyone else like an alcoholic drink, but it wasn’t. I have found this strategy to be helpful myself on occasion.
CHASTENESS
Sine Cerere et Baccho friget Venus. Aquinas quotes this famous line from the
Roman playwright Terence – “Without Ceres and Bacchus, Venus gets cold” – in
writing about the superhabit of Chasteness.
Ceres is the goddess of the harvest, Bacchus the god of wine, and Venus
is the goddess of love. The implication
is that without food or wine, sexual desire wanes. Modern science proves what the ancients knew:
studies show that fasting reduces sexual desire. Interestingly, while fasting reduces
testosterone, it does not appear to reduce muscle mass or strength, which is
reassuring for men who want to fast as a way to moderate their sexual desire,
but not become scrawny.
Superhabits
reinforce each other. Here we can see
that the superhabits of Abstemiousness and Sobriety help the superhabit of
Chasteness. Chasteness is the superhabit
of enjoying healthy sexual activity, within the proper context. Studies show that individuals engaging in
healthy sexual behaviors had lower anxiety, depression, and distress compared
to those who did not. Research also
shows that healthy sexual behaviors are correlated with improved physical
health, including immune system, blood pressure, and cardiovascular health.
Chasteness
before marriage helps keep marriages together.
Extensive and much replicated research indicates that the more sexual
partners one has before getting married, the greater the chance of getting
divorced. Recent research confirms that
this effect cannot be attributed to
factors such as religion, age, attitudes to sex, and a long list of
other factors, and therefore that it’s something about having sex before
getting married that increases the chance of divorce.
If
any of this feels troubling, you may want to read feminist Louise Perry’s book The Case against the Sexual Revolution,
for an evidence-based critique, and would like help growing in chasteness, a
good book is Jason Evert’s If You Really
Loved Me: 100 Questions on Dating,
Relationships, and Sexual Purity.
The
remaining two superhabits for handling our physical desires are for dealing
with our relationship with things. They are Thrift and Contentment, which
relate to our desires for the quantity and quality of things we want.
THRIFT
Thrift
is the superhabit for being satisfied with the quantity of things I have. Research shows that it is associated with
being less impulsive when buying things and more conscious about a product’s
value.
The
superhabit of Thrift, paradoxically perhaps, is commonly evident among
successful entrepreneurs. Whether it is Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, David
Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard (HP), Dave Green, founder of Hobby
lobby, S. Truett Cathy of Chick-Fil-A, Bob Luddy, founder of CaptivAire, or
H.J. Heinz, founder of the company that popularized ketchup, they all had this
superhabit. Tim Busch, along with his
wife Steph, built a portfolio of luxury hotels, among other successful
businesses; my business school is named after both of them. Tim amassed his
first substantial savings from his paper route and then a lawn mowing
business. He spent much of those savings
on his college education, but the superhabit of Thrift stayed with him and was
key to building up his late businesses.
It
appears that it is not the strong desire for more stuff that helps people get
rich, but their ability to moderate that desire through the superhabit of
Thrift. In fact, people who place a high priority on financial success alone
tend to have lower well-being and mental health, and more behavioral
disorders. Interviews by Tom Corley, who
spoke to over two hundred millionaires, seem to confirm the importance of
Thrift: Corley found that millionaires tended to be surprisingly thrifty,
avoiding “lifestyle creep” where expense rise as fast as income.
A
good place to begin to develop thrift is by creating and living by a budget.
The most useful thing I have found for this, by far, is an app called You Need
a Budget (YNAB). As a business professor and former management consultant, I
thought I knew about budgets. I tried to
run our household budget according to Generally Accepted Accounting principles
(GAAP). This was a mistake, because
those principles are complex and are designed for consistency and transparency
– which are not priorities for home budgeting.
What I needed was something simple that would keep focusing me on making
sure that our spending matched our resources and priorities. I floundered until I discovered YNAB. It’s outstanding. (I have raved so much about them that YNAB
published my story on their website.)
CONTENTMENT
Where
Thrift is about the quantity of things you have, Contentment is about their
quality. It is the superhabit for
avoiding wanting a lifestyle that is too luxurious.
An extensive review of twenty-three empirical studies of people living simpler lifestyles concluded that they have stronger romantic relationships, better friendships, stronger social connections, and overall greater well-being and happiness. Other studies show lower stress and improved quality of life, and links to psychological well-being. Research also shows a link with physical health, because a simple lifestyle has been associated with lower risk-taking behavior such as drinking and drug use.
Jason
DeSena Trennert, whom we met in chapter 3, talks about how he learned a lesson
about a simpler lifestyle. One one of
his earlier business trips, he brought all kinds of fancy gadgets with
him. His much more experienced travel
companion looked at the “overstuffed mess” Trennert was carrying, and said
“half-amused, half-disgusted”:
“Players…travel…light.”
Players
travel light. There’s your answer. Be a
player, and travel light through life.
Don’t get bogged down with excessive embellishment. For some guidance and inspiration on building
the superhabit of Contentment, take a look at Marie Kondo’s celebrated book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: the
Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. It is just as much about
living a simple, contented life as it is about getting organized.
In the
final end what matters most is one’s intention and effort to acquire the
superhabits for the higher good of being as perfect as your heavenly Father is
perfect for His greater glory and for our own happiness.
Well, as
always let us reflect on the ideas above in our quiet moments of dialogue in
prayer and look into ourselves in the presence of our Creator. Let’s ask Him what He thinks and let’s heed
what He tells us. Allow Him to lead us
to whatever and wherever He wants you and me to do and to go.
See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and
laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us
together again.”
Affectionately,
Guadalupinky
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