Be In Calm Control

 June 24, 2025

Hello!  How is each and every one? Last Sunday the Church celebrated the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ (Corpus Christi).  This feast was eventually established as a universal feast by 1264, and soon after the feast was given an “octave”, meaning that the spiritual themes celebrated on Corpus Christi would remain the primary focus of the Church’s liturgy for a total of eight days.  That is where we are today, Tuesday in the Octave of Corpus Christi.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church 1374 says:  “The mode of Christ’s presence under the Eucharistic species is unique.  It raises the Eucharist above all the sacraments as ‘the perfection of the spiritual life and the end to which all the sacraments tend.’ In the most blessed sacrament of the Eucharist ‘the body and blood, together with the soul and divinity, of our Lord Jesus Christ and, therefore, the whole Christ is truly, really, and substantially contained.’ ‘This presence is called “real”—by which is not intended to exclude the other types of presence as if they could not be “real” too, but because it is presence in the fullest sense:  that is to say, it is a substantial presence by which Christ, God and man, makes himself wholly and entirely present.’

“It is by the conversion of the bread and wine into Christ’s body and blood that Christ becomes present in this sacrament.  The Church Fathers strongly affirmed the faith of the Church in the efficacy of the Word of Christ and of the action of the Holy Spirit to bring about this conversion. Thus St. John Chrysostom declares:  “It is not man that causes the things offered to become the Body and Blood of Christ, but he who was crucified for us, Christ himself.  The priest, in the role of Christ, pronounces these words, but their power and grace are God’s. This is my body, he says. ‘This word transforms the things offered.’”

“And St. Ambrose says about this conversion:  “’Be convinced that this is not what nature has formed, but what the blessing has consecrated.  The power of the blessing prevails over that of nature, because by the blessing nature itself is changed… Could not Christ’s word, which can make from nothing what did not exist, change existing things into what they were not before?  It is no less a feat to give things their original nature than to change their nature.’” (CCC 1375)

Let us pray without ceasing that the “‘Most just, the most lovable will of God be done, be fulfilled, be praised and exalted above all things for ever! Amen.   Amen (Forge, 769).  May there be peace in the hearts and minds of each and every person in the whole world.  Most Sacred and Merciful Heart of Jesus, grant us peace.”  The Church will be celebrating this solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus on Friday, the 27^th, within this year’s octave of Corpus Christi that we are in today. Let us take advantage of the blessings Our Lord has been showering us these days. He is ever present in our midst.

Following now is the 1^st superhabit of Restraint (from SUPERHABITS, The Universal System for a Successful Life by Andrew V. Abela, PH.D., Dean, Busch School of Business, The Catholic University of America, 2024).

Restraint

“Restraint is a habit for dealing with desires, and specifically desires to do unworthy things.  Unworthy things are things that drag us down, in both small and large ways.  Whether it is an impulse to buy a piece of clothing that we’ll never wear, or to curse at someone for cutting us off on the highway – or get revenge for the violent deaths of our sister’s little children – these desires, if we give in to them, hold us back from becoming our best selves, and make the world worse.

Research shows that people who have developed the habit of Restraint tend to eat healthier, exercise more often, and avoid excessive use of alcohol. Children with this habit tend to have higher grades, better school attendance, and better standardized test scores – all of which result in higher self-esteem, stronger interpersonal relationships, reduced eating disorders, and overall both short- and long- term happiness and life satisfaction.  They also lead to better physical and mental health, fewer substance-abuse problems, and greater financial security.  Restraint is like a superpower, which is why it (like all the habits that make up our system) deserves the name “superhabit.”

Superhabits have all the benefits of regular habits, and a lot more.  Like regular habits, they can be cultivated by practicing them a little bit at a time.  Once acquired, they allow you to act much more quickly and easily, even under great emotional strain (consider the Restraint that Mairead Corrigan exercised).

Here’s a trivial example of habit formation.  I used to hate packing.  I got stressed having to remember and organize everything I needed for my journey.  Often I ended up tossing a bunch of clothes into a bag, forgetting some things I needed while carrying a lot of stuff I didn’t. Eventually, I started practicing the habit of using a packing list.  I’d work through it from top to bottom.  Now I can pack quickly and easily and without stress.  Using a packing list has become a habit for me.

But superhabits are different from simple habits like packing to go on a trip, or brushing your teeth, or wearing your seatbelt.  First, they have a broad scope.  Packing is a habit with a very narrow scope.  It’s just about packing.  By contrast, Restraint is a superhabit with very wide applicability.  Once acquired, it can improve many aspects of your life.  From work, to study, to keeping your home organized, to volunteering, and so on.

In addition to having a broad scope, superhabits also have a broad range of positive outcomes.  They make you happier and healthier.  When I finish packing, I’m glad to be done with the chore.  That feeling, though, is temporary, and not very profound.  Superhabits, on the other hand, have a lasting effect on your happiness.  In fact, as we saw above, there’s a lot of scientific evidence that the superhabit of Restraint contributes to both lasting happiness and health.

It makes sense that when we use Restraint in what we eat and drink, we’ll feel better.  But the health effects of superhabits exist even when there isn’t such an obvious connection.  For example, a number of experiments have studied the superhabit of Gratitude, of being thankful for good things you have received.  They show that as you grow in Gratitude – for example, by keeping a daily Gratitude journal – not only do you become happier, but you also experience a reduction in depression, anxiety and chronic pain.  How does that work? We’re actually not sure about the mechanism, yet.  But there’s clear evidence that it does in fact happen.

I can’t emphasize enough that superhabits are acquired just like regular habits – by practice, a little bit at a time.  It doesn’t matter at what level you begin.  Neither genetics nor upbringing determine whether you can acquire any superhabit.  All that is required is regular practice.

Anyone can acquire the superhabits.  The key is practice.  In the case of Restraint, it doesn’t seem to matter what you practice restraining – as long as you do it consistently, on a regular basis, whether or not you feel like it.  Researchers have studied many different forms of practices for growing in Restraint, such as regular physical exercise, maintain posture, tracking food habits, keeping a budget, study discipline, and even speech modification (saying yes or no instead of colloquialisms).  All of them lead to a general improvement in the superhabit of Restraint, not simply an improvement in the task at hand.

In addition to practice, meditation can help increase the superhabit of Restraint, as the Rock discovered himself.  We all know intuitively that it is harder to exercise Restraint when we’re emotionally worn out.  We’re more likely to snap at others or binge eat or drink, when we’re drained emotionally.  Meditation, it turns out, can compensate for this drain, removing a barrier to practicing Restraint.

Expressing emotion makes one feel emotionally normal.  Suppressing emotion is exhausting and the practice of meditation helps overcome the effects of emotional exhaustion.  This means you can use it to improve your practice of Restraint.

Regular practice in not giving in to the desire to do something unworthy, whether it is unworthy because it is trivial or because it is harmful – along with meditation – will help you build the superhabit of Restraint.  And as you build it, you will become happier and healthier”.

I remember my mother when watching movies shows her emotions in a natural way. When there is something funny to her she laughs her heart out; she expresses her empathy by her tears; she also shows her anger whenever she is peeved.  She is never emotionally exhausted.  Obviously she practices prayer as well because she would often say if not for prayer… I guess I have taken after her in this aspect.  I am not ashamed to show my empathy, emotions when watching movies.  I cry, even blow my nose if needed: I laugh my heart out.  I tend to restrain my irritation or anger.

“That’s the first superhabit, for dealing with unworthy desires.  Not all desires are unworthy, though.  Some are quite admirable:  impulses to help other people, to fix things, to solve problems.  Should we have a superhabit for managing worthy desires?”

Joyfully welcome opportunities and willingly take the initiative to do worthy desires as they come. It is meritorious to do so.

Now let you and I continue reflecting on how things went and how each one of us managed through our desires (usually unworthy) as we lived through the hours of the day. Redirect our restraint towards the same desires for the rest of the day and the next day’s practice in the same arena of ordinary life.

Talk things over with Our Lord in the silent moments of prayer you and I have agreed with Him.  See Him smile with pleasure at our little successes throughout the day. Take heed of what other things He may point out to you and to me for our attention.

Oh!  I almost forgot, please accompany me with your prayers and offerings throughout the days starting July 1 to 19 while I do my annual seminar in Laguna. I am looking forward to having a good one.  I will try my very best to keep to my scheduled posts on Tuesdays or within the week. I will do the same for you.

See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us together again.”

Affectionately,                    

Guadalupinky