Self-Restraint
November 3, 2026
Hello! How is each and every one? We just started a new month, second to the last month of the year 2026, and we are already on the fifth day. Time really flies especially when the days are full of activities as in the previous days.
Had been praying for what I could share with you in this introduction and once again I came across the following beautiful commentary of Pope John Paul II in 1979 on the reply of Our Lady to Angel Gabriel’s announcement (Luke 1: 34-38):
“Virgo
fidelis,
the faithful Virgin”
“What does this faithfulness of Mary’s mean? What are the dimensions of this faithfulness? The first dimension is called search. Mary was faithful first of all when she began, lovingly, to seek the deep sense of God’s plan in her and for the world. Quomodo fiet? How shall this be? She asked the Angel of the Annunciation…
“The second dimension of faithfulness is called reception, acceptance. The quomodo fiet? is changed, on Mary’s lips, to a fiat; Let it be done, I am ready, I accept. This is the crucial moment of faithfulness, the moment in which man perceives that he will never completely understand the ‘how’; that there are in God’s plan more areas of mystery than of clarity; that, however he may try he will never succeed in understanding it completely…
“The third dimension of faithfulness is consistency to live in accordance with what one believes; to adapt one’s own life to the object of one’s adherence. To accept misunderstanding, persecutions, rather than a break between what one practices and what one believes: this is consistency…
“But all faithfulness must pass the most exacting test, that of duration. Therefore, the fourth dimension of faithfulness is constancy. It is easy to be consistent for a day or two. It is difficult and important to be consistent for one’s whole life. It is easy to be consistent in the hour of enthusiasm, it is difficult to be so in the hour of tribulation. And only a consistency that lasts throughout the whole of life can be called faithfulness. Mary’s ‘fiat’ in the Annunciation finds its fullness in the silent ‘fiat’ that she repeats at the foot of the Cross” (Homily in Mexico City Cathedral, 26 January 1979).
Following now is the continuation of the fifth word, this time on temperance (From The Cries of Jesus from the Cross, A Fulton J. Sheen’s Anthology). It is good to get to know exactly what temperance means and how it is demonstrated in one’s daily life in many ways.
There is a world of difference between what we need and what we want. We need those things that are essential for a normal, comfortable human existence; but we want more than that. Our needs are quickly satisfied, but our wants rarely are.
The day our Blessed Lord multiplied the loaves and fishes the evangelist records that each person had his fill and was satisfied. But just suppose that Our Lord, instead of giving food that they needed, miraculously multiplied money and gave each of them the equivalent of a ten-dollar bill. How many, do you think, would have been satisfied with one bill? Money is a want; food is a need.
Because our needs are limited, but our wants are unlimited, a virtue is necessary to restrain our inordinate appetites and desires — and that virtue is called temperance. It has for its object the regulation of the sensible appetites by reason.
Temperance must not be confused either with Puritanism, which, because of the abuse of a thing, would take away its use; or with license, which would interpret all restraint as an infringement of liberty.
There is no consolation here for those gloomy souls who would kill the joy of living, nor for those frivolous souls who would isolate pleasure from the end of living — namely, the salvation of the soul.
Temperance reaches its peak in Him who came to preach the hard way of the Cross and yet began it by serving wine and assisting at a marriage feast. For that reason, the extremists who want all fast or all feast were never pleased with His temperance.
As He said to them on one occasion: “For John came neither eating nor drinking; and they say: He hath a devil. The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say: Behold a man that is a glutton and a wine drinker, a friend of publicans and sinners” (Matt. 11:18–19). It is so hard to please those who are looking for faults.
Finally, on the Cross, He gave us His fifth word — the revelation of the philosophy of temperance. Racked by the burning fever of crucifixion, like a dying soldier on a battlefield His lips craved for water. There was a physical foundation of the cry: “I thirst” (John 19:28).
But it looked to something else. St.
John, who was at the foot of the Cross, records that He said it “that the
scripture might be fulfilled” (John 19:28).
A thousand years before, the psalmist had prophesied that hour: “And they gave me gall for my food, and in my thirst, they gave me vinegar to drink” (Ps. 68:22).
From this Word we learn two lessons of temperance. First, the material exists for the spiritual. Christ expressed a physical thirst for a spiritual reason — namely, the fulfillment of prophecy as a proof of His divinity. In like manner, every material thing on the face of this earth, from salt to flesh, must be for us a means, not an end — a bridge, not a goal of life.
A glutton does not respect this order; he does not eat to live but lives to eat. He subordinates life to one of its conditions. The glutton or the drunkard is really a person without a sense of humor. He takes food and drink too seriously; he always misses the reference.
He takes drink so seriously that he forgets it was meant to assist locomotion, not to impede it; he takes flesh so seriously that he forgets it was meant to solder life, not to scorch it.
Why are there so many unhappy marriages today? Because instead of marrying for the reason that human love is the vestibule to the divine, they marry wondering how long they will be married. On the way back from the justice of the peace they are already preparing for divorce as one says to the other: “I will love you for two years and six months.”
There was once a time when a man who married a woman would no more have thought of divorcing her than of murdering her. But those were the days when men loved because they believed in God; now they lust because they believe in Freud — for, if this world is all there is, then why not get all you can and by whatever means you can.
It is only in the Church today that “life without lust is born,” because she teaches that the use of flesh conditions salvation. But in our modern divorce-mad world “lust without life shall die.”
Because temperance teaches us that the
earthly exists for the heavenly, the motive of a Christian is far different from
the motive of a pagan.
Take two persons who, by cutting down on their food, lose twenty pounds each. Materially, twenty pounds off a pagan is the same as twenty pounds off a Christian. But the motive in each case is quite different. The pagan diets; the Christian fasts. The pagan diets for the sake of his bodily appearance; the Christian fasts for the sake of his soul. Each received his corresponding reward, either the praise of men who love leanness or the praise of God, who loves virtue.
My
Tai Chi exercise: I think I am doing Tai
Chi 24/7 every day.
For a healthy happy, peaceful and profitable life
I set the clock and get out of bed soon as it alarms and I set it off
I
greet the Lord and our Lady a good morning. Thank them for last night and for this
morning. I offer them my thoughts to be
fixed on them; my words to have them for their theme; my actions to reflect my
love for them; and my sufferings to be endured for their greater glory. I ask
Him to give me His merciful heart, to transform me into His body and blood like
He transforms bread and wine into His body and Blood in the Holy Mass; to
increase my faith, hope, charity, humility and abandonment. To wash away my iniquities and cleanse me of
my sins. Remember me Lord when You come to Your Kingdom; I am a sinner I trust
in Your mercy and love. Do not consider
what I truly deserve but grant me your forgiveness.
I
charge my phone.
I
make my bed; I drink a glass of water; I take out my apparel, my cosmetics;
I
go and take my cup of coffee with a cracker or two;
I
brush my teeth; take a shower; and complete my grooming regimen.
I
slip into my shoes, pick up my bag, my water container and go down for prayer
and Holy Mass right after. I stay on for ten minutes to give thanks to the Lord
for each and every blessing showered on me. I take heed of what He plans to do
during the day.
I
greet birthday celebrants.
I
dust the tables and surfaces in my area of responsibility.
I
go to greet Our Lady at the 4th floor
I
take my fast break (breakfast). And on to work on my desk, His plans,
inspirations, initiatives, etc.
I
put on my belt
I
take a fast break after two hours, stand up, walk a bit and stretch a bit,
drink water and get back to my desk.
I
listen to news; respond to social media messages
I
take the noontime break and off to my afternoon conversation with the Lord in
the quiet moments of prayer
I
do my reading
Get
back to my desk
After
two hours I walk the Rosary and contemplation on the mysteries
I
take supper at 6pm, walk a little
Take
a bath
I do Eutrapelia,
listen to news, music, play Sudoku, do Qi
Gong
Gospel
Commentary and account for the day
Retire
I am sure you do
something similar to my daily TaiChi 24/7 if not, why don’t you? It makes your day exciting and meaningfully fulfilling.
Go over your day and see how it is going then perk it up by doing some TaiChi
with it. Go over your day with Jesus or Our mother,
Mary and ask them to help you perk up your day and do some ‘Qi Gong’ or ‘TaiChi’
The tragedy of so much dieting, from a Catholic point of view, is how much restraint, or shall we say fat, goes to waste. That is why one of the first questions in our catechism is: “Of which should we take more care, our soul or our body?” And the answer is: “We should take more care of our soul, for ‘what doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his immortal soul?’ ”
It is the rigid adherence to this principle that the material exists for the spiritual, which makes the Catholic school one of the greatest training grounds for character in the world. Little children are taught as soon as they enter school to “give up” certain things during Lent — not because candy is bad, but in order that they might be self-controlled and self-possessed. It is the contrary to the pagan philosophy of “self-expression” or doing whatever you please.
A boiler that refuses to keep within the limits and blows up is self-expressive. A drunkard is self-expressive or liquor-possessed because he is not self-possessed. Liquor is not his servant; he is its slave. We Catholics do not eat meat on Friday because we love our Lord. That is the day on which He died, and out of loving memory for this redemption we give up the pleasure of meat — and most of us Catholics hate fish — because He gave up His life for us. Is that anything to be scorned?
The basis of the Catholic secret of temperance and discipline is exchange. All life is founded on exchange: “What exchange shall a man give?” We get light in exchange for heat; bread in exchange for a dime. If you want to be an expert in mathematics you have to give up being an expert in tennis; if you want to give your body all its satisfactions, you have to give up the joys of the soul. We have to pay for everything.
Every joy demands that another be left untouched. Every step forward requires an austerity; that is not because there are no rewards on the other side of the hill, but only because we cannot see what is on the other side of the hill.
We must choose, then, between God and mammon, flesh and spirit. “No man can serve two masters” (Matt. 6:24). If we want to save our soul for eternity, we must discipline our body in time. And we do this not with sadness but with gladness, after the example of Him “who having joy set before him endured the Cross” (Heb. 12:2).
The second lesson of temperance in this fifth word is given us by the soldier who shared his wine with Our Lord. The cry of Our Lord was not addressed to anyone in particular, but as others wondered what to do, the soldier did it. Scripture says “he ran” (see Matt. 27:48; John 19:29).
There was no irresoluteness about his
service; only one thought dominated his mind: “His need is greater than mine.”
The Gospel notes that he filled the sponge. It was unusual for an executioner
to share rations with the one to be executed, but there was something very
uncriminal about that man on the central Cross.
The wine he gave was not much, but God considers not the gift of the giver, but the love of the giver. The soldier could not reach the lips of Our Lord, so he placed the sponge on a reed and touched it to the lips of the Savior. He had shared his wine with his Creator, and if he knew it, also with his Savior. And until the crack of doom, his act like that of Magdalen shall be recorded among men.
As he restrained himself in the use of his lawful possessions out of love of the suffering, so must we share our treasures out of love for the poor. Here again, the motive of sharing is more important than the deed. The reward we will get for our giving depends on the intention of our giving.
We love those who love us — but there is no great reward in this, for “do not the heathens this?” (Matt. 5:47). But we must love even our enemies that we may be children of Our Father who is in heaven. Loving enemies out of a divine intention is worth more than loving friends out of a personal satisfaction.
The philanthropists who give millions to erect art museums, libraries, and playgrounds out of purely humanitarian reasons will not further their eternal salvation as much as the poor widow who gives a nickel to a poor man on the street because she sees in his need the poverty of Christ. It is simply a matter of bookkeeping.
Suppose you wanted to establish a credit for purchases. Naturally, if you deposited your money on credit in a furniture store, you could not expect it to be honored at an automobile factory. In like manner, if you give lavishly to be credited by mankind, you cannot expect to be credited by Christ for eternal salvation. Millions given to perpetuate a family name will avail the soul nothing at the moment of judgment.
This does not mean that money given for art institutes and playgrounds do not avail for eternal salvation, but that they avail only on condition they were given for that motive, that is, in His name: “For whosoever shall give you to drink a cup of water in my name, because you belong to Christ: Amen I say to you, he shall not lose his reward” (Mark 9:40).
St. Paul, emphasizing that charity or the love of God alone makes deeds profitable unto salvation, is even more emphatic: “If I should distribute all my goods to feed the poor, and if I should deliver my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing” (1 Cor. 13:3).
There is a story told of a woman who gave a fortune, motivated by human glory, and very occasionally a meager gift for a spiritual intention. When she went to heaven St. Peter showed her an insignificant little house, which was dwarfed by all the mansions surrounding it. “I cannot live in that,” said the woman. St. Peter answered: “Sorry, lady. That was the best I could do with the materials you sent me.”
It is one of the paradoxes of Christianity that the only things that are really our own when we die is what we gave away in His name. What we leave in our wills is snatched from us by death; but what we give away is recorded by God to our eternal credit, for only our works follow us. It is not what is given that profits unto salvation; it is why it is given.
That is why a friendly meal given to an enemy in the name of Him Who loved us when we were His enemies is worth more on the day of our judgment than a ten-million-dollar hospital given to perpetuate a family name.
There is no injustice in this. Each gets the reward he wanted: in one instance, the love of Christ; in the other, the memory of men. Of the latter, Our Lord said the saddest words ever spoken: “They already have their reward.”
For those who wish to cultivate the virtue of temperance and to be self-possessed, these two specific recommendations are made. First, each day practice at least three trivial mortifications; for example, giving up the ninth cigarette, holding back the sarcastic word, returning a kindly answer to a sneer, or sealing the lips on the scandal you just heard, which probably, like all scandals, is 99 44/100 percent untrue.
Second, the magnitude of the mortification is not as important as the love of God for which it is done. Great sacrifices without love are worthless for the soul; nor because they are great does it follow they were done with love; it is the motive that matters — do them out of love of God.
Then amid the crosses and trials of
life, you may catch their relation to the Cross, which alone gives a pattern to
the contradiction of life. May we all, like the soldier Joyce Kilmer, as he
trudged across the fields of France, see in every aching shoulder, feverish
brow, and burning hand, the vision of Christ with His Cross:
My shoulders ache beneath my pack (Lie easier, Cross, upon His back).
I march with feet that burn and smart
(Tread, Holy Feet, upon my heart).
Men shout at me who may not speak
(They scourged Thy back and smote Thy cheek).
I may not lift a hand to clear
My eyes of salty drops that sear.
(Then shall my fickle soul forget
Thy Agony of Bloody Sweat?)
My rifle hand is stiff and numb
(From Thy pierced palm red rivers come).
Lord, Thou didst suffer more for me
Than all the hosts of land and sea.
So let me render back again
This millionth of Thy gifts. Amen. (Joyce Kilmer, “Prayer of a Soldier in France.”).
— The Seven Virtues
As always I challenge you to consider the above topics in your quiet moments of conversation with Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Holy Spirit who breathes whenever and wherever He wills. Please say a prayer or two for me and my intentions.
See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may
you find love and laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care;
‘til He brings us together again.”
Affectionately,
Guadalupinky
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