Discern the Right Measure
February 18, 2025
Hello! How is each and every one? Four days ago we celebrated the day recognized globally as the day of love and yet it is God’s love that brought us to life; it is the force that gives each one of us life and keeps each one of us growing and going every day. Therefore shouldn’t every day be a day of love; each day loving more than the day before; the next day to love even more than today?
Why so? Because to love is the most fundamental command that God has given us: ‘Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and neighbor as yourself.’ In this we mirror Christ himself whose mother is Mary Mother of Fair Love. Her feast day is February 14, the day the world has known as Valentine’s Day.
Mary’s fair love is “‘the most
beautiful love’ as she is the guardian of the beauty of chastity and she is the
way of praying for holy purity, for the sanctity of marriage, for the sanctity
of the family and for vocations to celibacy.”
(From the Daily Roman Missal) Preface of Mary Most Pure
It
is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, always and everywhere to
give you thanks, Lord holy Father, and, as we celebrate the memory of the
Blessed Virgin Mary, to proclaim with fitting praise the greatness of your
name.
Beauty was hers at her conception free from all stain of sin; she is
resplendent in the glory of grace.
Beauty was hers in her virginal motherhood: she brought forth her son, the radiance of
your glory, as the Savior and brother of us all. Beauty was hers in the Passion of her Son:
marked by his blood, in her meekness she shared the suffering of the Lamb of
God, her Son, silent before his executioners, and won for herself a new title
of motherhood. Beauty was hers in the
Resurrection of Christ: she reigns with him in glory, the sharer now in his
triumph. Through him the Angels of
heaven offer their prayer of adoration as they rejoice in your presence for
ever. May our voices be one with theirs in
their triumphant hymn of praise.
There is a new series on human love. “Our happiness depends on whether we learn to love. To love is the most fundamental command that God has given us” (opusdei.org Finding God in daily life). You may want to read through it and ponder more on human love the foundation of which is the love between the three Persons of the Blessed Trinity, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit in heaven and the trinity on earth, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Let us now continue with the chapter on our divine longing for well-being (From Broken Gods, Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart, Gregory K. Popcak, Ph. D. Ch 9).
Two Kinds of Gluttony:
Overindulgence and Preciousness
Gluttony distorts our quest for well-being in two ironically contradictory ways: first, through overindulgence, that is, not caring enough about what we put into our bodies; second, by preciousness, that is, caring too much about how and what we eat. Both overindulgence and preciousness represent the problematic belief that salvation can come from our bodies and our senses. Let’s take a brief look at each one of them.
Gluttony Part I: Overindulgence
Anna’s doctor is seriously concerned about her weight. She has stage 2 hypertension as well as several of the weight-related health problems. She tried dozens of diets and even underwent Lap-Band surgery, but nothing worked. She admits that when she is dieting or even trying to curtail her eating a little she gets panicked feelings she doesn’t understand. In speaking with her pastor, she came to realize that her unhappiness in her marriage was a huge trigger for her overeating. She would be fine all day, but when her husband came home she spent the rest of the evening stress-eating. She also explained that since she had put on so much weight, their sex life had dropped off to nothing. She told her pastor that she supposed she ought to feel bad about that, but it was relief because she never really enjoyed sex with him anyway.
Her pastor told her that through her weight problem God was challenging her to address her marital problems, and that she should seek counseling to heal her relationship. She thanked him for this encouragement but has yet to follow through “I just don’t see what good it would do,” she said. “My husband and I have been like this for years. It’s not like he’s going to change, and I honestly don’t think I have the energy to work on it anymore. Besides, marriage counseling is so expensive. I just don’t know what the point would be.” Meanwhile, her weight continues to skyrocket along with the health problems accompanying it.
Kirk lost his job six months ago. Since then he has stopped going to church. In fact, he has stopped doing a lot of things. He feels ashamed to be unemployed. He hates that his wife, a nurse anesthetist, is back at work. She keeps telling him that she’s happy to do her part, but that just makes him even more miserable. He loves his kids, but the Mr. Mom role feels emasculating to him. Instead of trying to keep up with the house or sending out resumes, he surfs the Internet and plays video games while the kids are at school. When his wife asks him about his job search he gets angry and defensive. Most evenings, once his wife is home and is getting the kids to bed, he hangs out in the family room watching TV and drinking beer until he falls asleep. He denies he has a drinking problem. He just drinks to relax. It’s the only time in his day he feels halfway decent. That doesn’t feel like a problem to him.
Anna’s hunger is really a hunger for intimacy and wholeness, but she’s terrified to pursue what she really wants, either for fear that it won’t work, or perhaps out of fear that it will, in which case she might have to make peace with her sexuality. Kirk is obviously depressed and consumed by crushing anxiety over his inability to be the provider he would like to be. That’s completely understandable, but rather than reaching out to God in this difficult time, giving thanks for his wife’s support, or seeking help to deal with his emotional struggles, he is retreating into alcohol abuse, wrapping the alcoholic buzz around himself like a security blanket that will chase all the monsters away. At least until the next morning.
How tempting is it for all of us to turn to food or drink when something in our lives is out of order? Gluttony as overindulgence makes us grasp for the refrigerator door or the wine glass when we are out of balance, instead of reaching out for God’s hand waiting to right us on the path to our destiny. But there is a second, and ironically opposite, way that gluttony distorts our divine longing for well-being.
Let us pause here, and take time to re-read, empathize and reflect on the above situation of the couple. Consider even our own situation that may or may not be the same and yet similar in the way we care to face it, accept it, talk about it and seek the necessary help first from God and then from a person we trust. How do you and I ask myself as well, face stressful situations in our daily life’s work, relationships, activities?
Maybe we
know of some friends and relatives who are in similar situations. Whatever
resolutions, inspirations, affections that may come out of our moments of
reflection will be additional resources that would come handy when the right
moment presents itself.
Let us
bring the above ideas and situation into our personal conversation with Jesus
in the quiet moments of our prayer and consider our own life and responses or
reactions to given situations that present themselves in our daily life,
relationships and activities. This way
we can improve in our ability to understand, perceive, and discern the right
measure in given situations.
Before
saying adieu could we together say a prayer for the person and intentions of
the Holy Father Pope Francis.
See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us together again.”
Affectionately,
Guadalupinky
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