Enlarge My Heart
August 20, 2024
Hi! How is each and every one? Talking about
being kind, what is it really to be kind?
Education in good manners is all about being kind. Good manners aside from self-dignifying are
other people dignifying too, if there is such a way of saying it. Kind persons are good mannered in every
way. They are virtuous in many ways perhaps
without even realizing it? But they are good company, edifying, and exemplary
of good living. They are considerate,
thoughtful, tactful, careful so as not to cause any inconvenience or hurt to
others.
It is unfortunate that nowadays good mannered persons are becoming a rare species. Unfortunately, a good lot of younger generations have not caught up with the older ones who have had the opportunity to be educated in good manners early on in their life inside and outside the home.
The other night we shared a video of an interview with a couple. Both spouses are celebrities. Each one grew up with a grandmother. Amazingly one can intuit the grandmother’s great influence in each one’s attitudes and actuations. Yes, we are fortunate to have grandparents who have the wisdom and the authority to impart to us who are equally fortunate because we chose to listen and give heed to their wisdom and we highly regard and appreciate their authority. I wish you and I could make the opportunity to foster the presence of the grandparents in our own families and those of others around us. It is always the right time to do so.
Following is the continuation of our divine longing for dignity (From Broken Gods, Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart, Gregory K. Popcak, Ph. D. Ch 5).
The Kindness Connection
The homeless man looked a little stunned. He wasn’t sure he had heard right. My friend asked him again, “What’s your name?”
“Jack.”
My friend held
out his hand to shake Jack’s hand. “Good
to meet you, Jack. I’m Michael. You here often?”
“Yep.Every day.”
“You like
coffee?”
“Sure.”
“How do you like
your coffee?”
“I like it
sweet!”
“Well, I’ll tell
you what, Jack. Next time I come this
way, I’ll bring you a cup of black coffee with some extra sugar, okay?”
“Okay. Cream too?”
“You got
it. Cream and extra sugar. You take care of yourself. I’ll see you next time.”
“God bless you.”
“Thank
you, Jack! God bless you too, man.”
The whole exchange lasted maybe thirty seconds, but what a powerful witness my friend was to me. He didn’t just chuck a few dollars at a homeless man as he continued on talking to me about more interesting things. He took a minute to care about the person sitting there at his feet, find out his name, and learn something about him. It was a completely unremarkable conversation that, to me, was a remarkable act of kindness. It didn’t just make me see Jack in a different light; it made me see my friend in a different light too. In that moment, I saw both Jack’s dignity and my friend’s in a new light. It was a simple but transcendent moment that elevated all of us.
When we are suffering from envy, we can decrease the pain and at the same time fulfill our divine longing for dignity by rising above ourselves and being kind to someone else.
Annie describes herself as a reluctant stay-at-home mom. She lost her job as the marketing VP at an ad agency about a year ago and hasn’t been able to find a suitable position since. Her husband, Tom, was happy that Annie decided to stay home and felt that she was contributing to the household finances by saving on childcare and other work-related expenses. Annie agreed that there were real benefits to a parent being home, but she often felt like she was going a little stir-crazy as the days dragged on with her children Bethany (age four) and John (two).
“I love my kids, and I feel like an awful person for saying this, but I was so jealous that Tom got to go to work every day,” Annie says. “I was jealous that he got to go to lunch with his co-workers. I was jealous that he got to feel like he was accomplishing something. I was jealous that he brought home a paycheck because I believed it made what he did matter more than what I did. I was jealous of the whole thing. I knew he wasn’t out partying all day, but I just craved the adult interaction and really missed using my business degree. Sometimes I felt like my brain was rotting.
“I found myself becoming truly resentful of the whole situation. I felt like a failure for losing my job in the first place, and I suppose I started letting the whole thing eat at me. I would plop the kids in front of a video and be on Facebook chatting with people. I would snap at Tom when he came home. I wasn’t doing well at all.
“I worked on trying to be kinder to the kids throughout the day. I’d try to enter into their games instead of being irritated while they played around me. I would do my best to look into their eyes when they were taking to me or sit on the floor and invite them to sit on my lap when they wanted to show me something. I tried to make more of the things Tom liked to eat and save some energy to talk and just hang out with him instead of tagging him with the kids the second he came in the door so I could go for a walk or get a bath.
“At first, I could feel myself really fighting back against it. I wasn’t about to become some fifties TV mom. But I just kept trying to be me, just kinder. I read something on a mommy blog that really hit me. It said, ‘The parents’ job is to reflect the love of God to our kids.’ That really struck me. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I kept going with it all, and I guess I was actually surprised when I started feeling a change. I felt like I was getting in touch with the dignity of this new role I had taken on. I’m in a really different place. I would still like to return to work, but I’m beginning to get what some women see in being home with their kids. The other day, Bethany and John and I were laughing so hard over an art project we were doing. I just caught myself thinking that I wouldn’t want to miss this for the world. I had to laugh because it was almost like I had forgotten I was supposed to be resentful. I enjoyed my job, and, like I said, I’m not ready to say I’d never go back, but I’m starting to see that my dignity isn’t tied up in the position. My dignity is tied up in how much God loves me and how well I show his love to my family. I think that’s pretty cool now that I’m in a much better place with the whole thing.”
Kindness like all other virtues is other person-centered. When one thinks of what others need and what they will appreciate given their state or circumstances, concern for their good motivates kindness in her. She could turn to God to alleviate their situation, she can get out of her way to do what little she can do at the moment, say something to them, smile, buy them something nearby, whatever else aside from having prayed to God to help them.
Indeed many things depend on the way each one of us live each of our days with random acts of kindness throughout. The only intention we have is to give God the glory that belongs to Him since our personal dignity participates in God’s dignity having been created in His image and likeness.
Let us continue talking to Our Lord about these things we have read through in our quiet moments of prayer with Him. Let us ask Him to enlarge our hearts to make life pleasant for many others starting with our own families. You and I can be assured that from our own families, we will have many opportunities open to us outside. He will surely give us bright lights and provide opportunities for us to nurture acts of kindness in our daily life and whereabouts.
See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us together again.”
Guadalupinky
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