The Inseparable Duo

June 18, 2024

Hi!  How is each and every one?  I just can’t manage to start this post.  It is taking me time.  It is the 20^th of the month and I know some of you might have been expecting this post since 2 days ago, Tuesday?  It was the burial of my only brother in law and it is taking me a bit of time to get back to function as usual, business as usual or back to business.  I am not excusing myself; I am simply having a good number of realizations lately, opportunities of learning.  I find myself a beneficiary of this particular post. Could that be the reason for this delay? 

The week before last was full of surprises for me.  God is truly a God of surprises.  When He wills things to happen, you find yourself wondering at the same time enjoying the surprises.  What you have been hoping and wishing to happen suddenly becomes a reality. I found myself saying, ‘Ikaw talaga, Lord!’  I asked Google to translate and it says ‘You really are Lord!’  ‘It is You, Lord!’ ‘You are truly wonderful!’ ‘Thank you, Lord, for sharing your credits with me.’

I am now reminded of the day when my brother’s secretary, shared her joys with me after lunch the other day.  She said “Mam Pinky, ang dami pong miracles this week. My friends and I planned to join a tour in Cebu.  We already booked the flight and paid.  Then we had to rebook due to a conflict of work schedule. When we did, we were not charged for rebooking.”

“Another time po, I was not feeling good, happy, I did not know exactly what I was feeling and why?  So I told God about it. After telling Him, I forgot already what it was that I told Him and the feeling I was having was no longer there. I write to God, Dear God. On my phone I have a place with password for my letters to Him.”

I mentioned it to my brother and he said, “You know she has become prayerful.  She said she never knew how to pray.  She only learned to pray from you when she started learning the prayers before and after meals and she has been leading the prayers from then on. And when in one of your visits in May last year you suggested after our lunch to pray the Rosary to Our Lady.  You said it only takes 20 minutes to do so and you encouraged us to pray it after dinner from then on.  You taught her how to pray the Rosary the right way and you gave us the Handbook of prayers. She continued learning how to pray it every time; the Apostles Creed, the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, the mysteries of the different days.  Now she knows it well.  And when she told me about her prayers being answered, I suggested she share those joys with others.”

I thanked God for all these joys, joys of His own wonders that He works on souls, which He shares with me. Let us now continue learning about our divine longing for abundance (From Broken Gods, Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart, Gregory K. Popcak, Ph. D. Ch 4).

Humility and Abundance in Action

It’s one thing to talk about how humility can facilitate abundance, but what does it look like in real life?  Let’s examine two examples:

“I’d like to understand my wife better,” Jonathan said.  “Marianne and I have been having a hard time of it the last couple of years.  I haven’t always been the best listener, but I think I’m finally in a place where I can hear the things she needs to tell me.”

At first, Jonathan came to counseling because his wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t, but he’s been an active participant since day one.  “I convinced myself that everything I was doing I was doing for them—the work, the long hours, the late nights. Even the time I spent on my hobbies I told myself was so that I could be more present to them, but counseling has been a real eye-opening experience for me.  I used to just write Marianne off as a nag, but since we’ve been in counseling, I really see that her asking me to change how I spend my time isn’t about her saying I’m screwing up or not good enough, but that it’s really about her saying she loves, misses me, and wants to spend time with me.  I never really thought of it that way.

“She has said a lot of things that were hard to hear, but I’m glad I’ve been listening better these last couple of weeks.  I can tell Marianne feels more like I care, like I’ve really heard her.  I think if we can just keep up being humble enough to learn from each other, we’ll be okay.”

Paige knows that she can’t do everything by herself.  She’s a working mom who has limited time and energy.  She knows a lot of other moms who feel very strongly that they have to prove that they can do it all.  She used to be that way too, but she has learned that she can’t do it all alone and that she shouldn’t try.  Her husband and her kids are there for her.  She needed to learn to rely on them more.

At first it wasn’t easy.  Asking her husband, James, and her kids to help out more was a blow to her pride.  And it was tough letting go of how things were done too.  Paige can be a little particular at times.  It’s hard not to want things to be done “just so.”  But she realizes that her way isn’t the only way, and as long as things get done, she is learning to be grateful for the support.  She says, “It’s been good to open up my heart and let other people help me.  Sometimes my husband does things around the house differently than I do, but I’ve learned some good tips from him too.  He wasn’t really raised to help much around the house, so I kind of tended to discount his abilities before.  I see now that he just needed me to let him know it was okay to help out.  I guess we’re learning from each other!”

Jonathan and Paige have both discovered small ways to practice humility.  It hasn’t been easy for either of them, and it has required them to grow in openness toward the people who share their lives.  Nevertheless, as they have become more open, they have learned important things about themselves, about how to experience more intimacy and support from the people around them, and how to live more satisfying lives.  Jonathan and Paige have both, in little ways, learned how to do what Christians call “dying to themselves.”  That is, they have discovered little ways to have the humility to accept that they need God and others to teach them how to live abundantly.  Ironically, as terrifying as it sounds to die to oneself, Jonathan and Paige have found a  more authentic, joyful, and abundant way of being by embracing humility and opening their hearts to others—even those with whom they don’t see eye to eye.

Perhaps you have struggled with a tendency to close your ears and your heart to others.  Perhaps you have tended to use your gifts to glorify yourself or unintentionally draw attention to your competence, skills, and gifts, as if you are better than those around you.  Perhaps you have found it difficult to respond well to criticism, discuss mistakes, or listen to other’s concerns without feeling like your own happiness is being threatened.  If so, the following exercise can help you begin to free yourself from the bonds of pride and to embrace an authentic humility that helps you achieve abundance in this life and divinization in the next.

Well, yes, it is easier said than done. Let us learn from Jonathan’s and Piage’s experiences.  Let us thank God for the opportunity to read stories of real life happenings between relationships of couples and family life. I am sure you and I have had opportunities to hear from our relatives and friends stories of similar situations and the different ways each one faced or confronted them.

I suppose you and I would agree that the best way to preserve relationships is to put God on top of it and into it.  Simply put, to nurture an intimate relationship with God in prayer because on this relationship will each of our relationships be anchored. You and I need to ask God to give us the virtue of humility to conquer our pride, to keep our minds over our hearts on the truth, to keep our hearts open to the good and to learn and understand persons and situations, to educate our feelings so that they appreciate what is true and good and they don’t govern our decisions through our reactions.

With the help of the Holy Spirit who works in our souls, you and I would be able to conquer ourselves and do what ought to be done. Prayer also works its way to other persons in the relationship.  With prayer and humility will come abundance and will flourish.

Let us pray for one another that you and I will desire humility in all its  consequences and with it attain our divine longing for abundance.

See you in the next post, “May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us together again.”

 

Affectionately,                    

Guadalupinky