The Challenge to Change
February 20, 2024
Hi! How is each and every one? I realize I missed mentioning in the last
post that I was going to do my spiritual retreat from February 14 to today,
February 20. I did remember to keep all
of you in my prayers those days. Was
also glad to learn about the Holy Father’s scheduled retreat February 18 to the
24th with the curia. I welcomed the opportunity to be ever more
united to the Holy Father’s person and intentions. It was also an opportunity to
pray for so many persons who somehow make the Holy Father the subject or object
of their negativities, irregularities and prejudices. Understand them and
forgive them for they do not know what they are doing and saying. Obviously they need prayers to understand
themselves and forgive themselves as well.
They will be happier when they do so.
Let us pray for each and every one.
Indeed
we are in the season of Lent. Isn’t it the
most opportune time to follow Jesus in His passion and death on the Cross? To
carry the Cross of our sins with Him who is pure innocence and absolute Love?
Personally I find the following
excerpt on how to go about our divine longings (From
Broken Gods, Hope, Healing, and the
Seven Longings of the Human Heart, Gregory K. Popcak, Ph. D. Ch 3) so helpful in the situation we find ourselves at the moment
of renewing ourselves for the better.
COAL:
The Fuel for Change
As I mentioned above
neuroscience suggests that our brains become more receptive to changing when we
adopt an attitude of curiosity, openness,
acceptance, and love toward life
in general, but especially toward our failings (Siegel, 2007; 2012). Let’s briefly consider how fostering each of
these qualities can help us cooperate more effectively with God’s
transformative grace.
Curiosity
Curiosity
refers to a genuine desire to understand.
The opposite of curiosity is judgmentalism. When most of us fail, we criticize and shame
ourselves. This is Satan’s way of
preventing us from asking the deeper questions our failings invite us to
consider, namely, “What hurt am I trying to address with this behavior?” “What is the godly motivation behind my
fallen choices?” Satan does not want us
to ask these questions. He would prefer
that we remain ignorant because the answers to these questions point to the
seven divine longings, whose true fulfillment propels us toward
deification. When we respond to life
with curiosity, we take a gentle, questioning posture toward ourselves. When we can approach our brokenness with
curiosity, we are open to learning something, and God will teach us. By contrast, judgmentalism slams the door in
both God’s and our own faces. We have
nothing to learn. We already have
everything figured out—and everything is bad.
Jimmy has always struggled with procrastination—a
form of sloth. “I used to beat up on
myself about it. When I was a kid, my
parents used to get on me about not living up to their expectations and cutting
corners. As an adult, I would often end
up showing up late for things, or getting things done at the last minute, or
not getting them done at all. I even
lost jobs over it. Some people said I
must have adult ADHD, and I started taking medication for it, but I always felt
there was something more to it. It
wasn’t just that I couldn’t focus. I
actually felt myself fighting against getting better. I resisted being pinned down to commitments. I refused to even try to keep a
schedule. I wouldn’t write things down
even if my life depended on it. It was
weird.
“I used to beat up on myself and say I was just
lazy, that people couldn’t count on me.
I was talking about it in confession once, though, and he priest asked
me a weird question. He said, ‘Have you
ever asked what God is trying to teach you through your tendency to avoid
responsibility?’ I thought he was crazy
at the time. I told him that I had no
idea. He let it go and gave me
absolution.
“But afterward his question kept nagging at me. Eventually I took it to prayer. I went before the Blessed Sacrament and I
asked God to help me see what this whole thing was about. After a few minutes it all kind of just
clicked in my head. When I was a kid, my
brother was sick all the time. He had a
genetic disorder that landed him in the hospital periodically. He died when he was seven and I was ten. I just remembered how, when he would get
sick, I used to try so hard to take care of my parents and stuff. They would be
so worried about him. I’d do the dishes
and dust and clean up and all that. My
parents would barely notice, but I didn’t care.
I just wanted them to not worry.
Then, after he died, I just stopped doing anything. I never thought of
it before, but it occurred to me that, for me, committing to things, ‘being
responsible,’ brought back all that worry and grief about my brother. At first I thought I was being stupid, that I
was making excuses, but then I thought, ‘What if there’s something to
this?’ It’s not an excuse. I still needed to change, but it was a step
forward for me to realize that my laziness was really an attempt to avoid
dragging up a lot of bad stuff.
“After that time in adoration, I watched when those
feelings came over me the strongest. It
usually seemed that I got the laziest when I was stressed or worried about
something. I would just shut down. I started paying closer attention, and when I
felt the shutdown feelings coming, I would pray and ask God for the grace to
remember that I didn’t need to run away from stress anymore, that I wasn’t a
kid and my world wasn’t going to come crashing down on me at any minute just
because I was feeling overwhelmed.
Things didn’t change overnight, but with time I really saw God
delivering me from my fear of responsibility and commitment. It’s ironic, but only when I stopped trying
so hard was I able to get over this. God
didn’t want me to fix myself. He wanted
me to trust in his love and mercy and let my struggles draw me closer to him so
I could be healed buy his love.”
By rejecting judgmentalism in favor of a spirit of
curiosity, Jimmy was able to see God moving behind his brokenness and to
receive the key to his transformation.
While he still found that he had a lot of work to do, he felt a sense of
hope that hadn’t seemed possible before.
Instead of guilt and self-recrimination, he experienced love, mercy, and
deeper union with God. In sum, when we
engage our curiosity, we are able to ask God the questions that need to be
asked, and to find the answers God is trying to communicate to us. Curiosity makes us receptive to what God is
attempting to do in us.
The above ideas, thoughts, would find better lights and
readiness of mind and heart during the quiet moments each one of us spends with
Our Lord in daily prayer. Let us ask Him
to enlighten our minds, strengthen our wills and soften our hearts to see and
to do what He wants of each of us.
See
you in the next post,
“May tomorrow be a perfect day; may you find love and
laughter along the way; may God keep you in his tender care; ‘til He brings us
together again.”
Affectionately,
Guadalupinky
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